Today, I went on a longer-than-normal walk with my dog, Willow. Now that I’ve been home resting for a couple hours, I’m reminded of the #1 rule that I live by. One that I know others with invisible illnesses will understand;
To make damn sure whatever you do will be worth it.
And it was.
The weather was lovely; it felt like spring. After such brutal freezing temperatures lately, it was good to be able to finally enjoy the outdoors. No more cabin fever! It gets pretty gloomy after a while…
I did my hair, a wee bit of makeup, put on my favorite “booty” jeans, and I felt amazing. Willow and I walked farther than usual, down one of this city’s most popular strips. There were so many beautiful people out with the same idea, I even ran into my daughter and her boyfriend.
But I couldn’t stay. You see, I was already sore and still needed to walk back home. One of the most difficult aspects of living with invisible illnesses and chronic pain is not knowing your limits from day to day. Usually, it’s a matter of finding out the hard way.
My walk home felt much farther and became incredibly difficult to enjoy. The spring fever that surrounded me was overwhelming as the pain in my legs and back increased with every step. Confidence is sexy, sure. But sometimes, the attention is dreadful once you notice the booty jeans worked.
“Oh my God, please don’t trip. Don’t limp. You’ll make it home. Don’t sway your hips too much, or you’ll throw your back out. Ahh, please don’t limp!”
So I made it home and haven’t been able to move much since. This pain and discomfort I feel will linger. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to predict how long it will take to return to my “normal” pain level. But it was worth it.
I got out for a bit, enjoyed the weather, and saw my daughter for a few minutes. I looked gorgeous and felt pretty damn good about it.
So what that I probably have a half dozen new varicose veins, or that I still need to stand to cook myself dinner somehow? I probably won’t venture out too far from home for a few days. But it really was worth it.
It’s the little things like this that make a difference. When it’s going to hurt either way, make it count. A real Sophie’s choice for a better quality of life. Even if it’s for just an hour or so.
Sarah Cameron has been an avid writer at heart since early childhood and has recently rediscovered her voice. This resulted in writing a multitude of essays and memoirs she hopes to one day publish. These works intend to shine a light below the surface of the proverbial iceberg of everyday life. Such topics as surviving abuse and finding healing through truth, to living with invisible illnesses and the stigma attached to them. Sarah helps shift the perspective to raise awareness using relatable analogies and light humor while focusing on unspoken truth. Her hope is to amplify the voices of those who aren’t heard with her writing and public speaking. Learn more about Sarah on Our Contributors page!